How I Spend A Solo Evening In A New City
READING
Yesteryear – yes! Finally something to get me out of my reading slump! This is MUCh better than anticipated and not as “weird” as I had imagined. Multiple time lines, time travel, are very hit or miss for me. This is done beautifully! I love the trad wife trope, and this is it for sure. With hints of feminism and all that us women endure!! If you read it, lets chat!! (This would be a great book club read) This gets 5 stars from me!
Lucy by the Sea – I am really enjoying and finding the read to be very meditative! Its about the pandemic and a woman’s experience with being uprooted. Its quiet but great writing and interesting, plus brings back many memories (So be wary)
Someone Else’s Husband (June 16)- I just got the ARC of this (Thank you Netgalley) and just started. Already invested!
The Magnificent Lives of Marjorie Post – also just started. Someone recommended this to me, and I don’t know who!! Message me if it was you, please!
The Sirens – I really want(ed) to like this, but for now this is a DNF for me, I will try to pick it up at a later time!
MUSING
How I Spend a Solo Evening in a New City (Without Feeling Lonely)
There is something electric about arriving in a new city alone. The quiet kind of thrill. The soft anonymity. The sense that no one knows you, which somehow feels like permission. I can slip into a version of myself that feels just slightly more polished, more open, more curious. I walk slower. I notice more. I become someone who lingers.
And then evening comes.
Evenings can feel different. A little heavier. A little louder in your own head. The questions creep in. Where should I go? Will it feel awkward? Will I feel alone?
Here is exactly how I move through it. Not perfectly. Not rigidly. Just in a way that has, over time, made solo evenings feel less like something to get through and more like something I quietly look forward to.
One – Let it go
Before anything else, I let go of the imagined audience.
The version of me that thinks everyone is watching, evaluating, wondering why I am alone.
They are not.
And even if, for a fleeting second, someone does notice me sitting alone at a bar or walking slowly down a dimly lit street, it passes. People return to their own conversations, their own evenings, their own lives.
This is the quiet gift of solo travel.
You are unobserved. Unburdened. Free.
There is no one to negotiate with. No one to accommodate. No one to wait for.
Just you, moving through a city exactly as you want to.
And once you let that settle, something shifts.
You stop performing. You start experiencing.
Two – Choose your setting carefully
If I have one rule, it’s this:
where you stay matters more than you think.
I always look for a lively boutique hotel. Somewhere with a sense of movement. A hum. A place where people gather naturally.
Even better if there’s a built-in cocktail hour.
There’s something about that in-between time. Not quite day, not quite night. Guests drifting in. A drink in hand. Conversations that start easily and end just as easily.
Places like The Darcy, Kimpton Fitzroy London, or Perry Lane Hotel have mastered this.
You don’t have to “put yourself out there.”
You just have to show up.
It takes the edge off the evening. Softens the transition. Reminds you that you are not as alone as you think.
Three – Dinner belongs at the bar
I never make a traditional dinner reservation when I’m alone.
I go to the bar.
Always.
There is an ease to it. A rhythm. You slip into a seat, order a drink, and suddenly you are part of something without having to try.
I do my research beforehand. I read reviews, wander through menus, sometimes fall down a rabbit hole of recommendations. It’s part of the ritual. Part of the anticipation.
And then I arrive, take a seat, and let the evening unfold.
The bartender becomes your guide. Your quiet companion. The one who knows what’s good, what’s worth skipping, what just came in fresh that day.
There is conversation if you want it. Silence if you don’t.
It is, without fail, the best seat in the house.
Four – Dress for yourself (and your safety)
There is a version of solo travel that looks effortless. Flowing dresses, perfect lighting, a glass of something delicate in hand.
And while yes, I love all of that, I am also deeply practical.
I dress to feel:
comfortable
secure
prepared
A crossbody bag that zips.
A portable charger (maps will drain your phone faster than you think).
Layers. Always layers.
A light rain jacket tucked into my bag like a quiet insurance policy.
I also carry a small tote. It folds into nothing and somehow becomes everything. Books, small finds, a pastry I couldn’t resist. It holds the little moments I collect along the way.
Feeling physically at ease changes everything.
It lets you stay present instead of distracted.
Five – End the night gently
I don’t stay out too late.
This is something I’ve learned the hard way.
There is a sweet spot in a solo evening. A point where you’ve had enough. Enough walking, enough conversation, enough stimulation.
I leave before I’m exhausted. Before the night turns.
Back in my room, I shift into a different kind of ritual.
I wash my face. Change into something soft. Maybe pour a glass of water, maybe tea. The city quiets outside my window.
And then, my favorite part.
I open my maps.
I start tracing the next day. Not rigidly, but loosely. A café I want to try. A bookstore I bookmarked. A street that looked beautiful in the morning light.
In Amsterdam, I found myself mapping out a morning that led me, almost accidentally, to the Canal Boat Museum. The kind of place you don’t plan for, but end up loving.
I like knowing I have a shape to the next day. Something to fall into. Something to look forward to.
And then I close my phone, climb into bed, and sit with that quiet satisfaction.
I did the evening on my own.
And it was good.
Solo evenings aren’t about proving anything.
They are about learning how to be with yourself in a new place.
How to move through discomfort without rushing past it.
How to create small pockets of connection, even in unfamiliar spaces.
And eventually, almost without noticing,
they stop feeling lonely at all.
RECOMMENDING
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A side table that is ALSO a cooler, the perfect patio find (Mom do you want this?)
This sports bra has over 45,000 recommendations
I want this badly
This dress is an almost exact dupe for this one (Size down, this does run large!)
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This strapless jumpsuit is perfect for a summer night. The barrel cut is so flattering
I got the cutest tiny martini glasses, I am in love
ODDS & ENDS
Don’t be THIS jerk
The Happiest Women in their 70’s are SINGLE!! (YES!!!)
WOAH!
I need someone to invite me over (and sit on me) so that I can actually watch THIS movie! Otherwise, I won’t do it – UPDATE – I watched the first 3 episodes last night with my friend (Thank you K!!) and absolutely ADORE this !!!
